The Unmentionable and Avoided, Ever-Present Aspect of Our Mortality

Let’s explore the topic of death. Dying. Giving up the ghost. Kicking the bucket. If we’re going to say the word, we might as well face it.

Is the topic an uncomfortable one to explore? The North American viewpoint considers death an uncomfortable subject. We are, in many ways, a “death-denying” society. That denial shows up in how we present ourselves to the world, chasing youth, downplaying aging, and looking away from anything that reminds us of life’s inevitable end. Many of us avoid thinking about it altogether, both consciously and unconsciously.

So, what then happens to us when we die? Spiritual mediums speak with the dead, translating messages from those who have passed on. Some people have had Near Death Experiences (NDEs) and return with stories of what they encountered before being brought back. Through these accounts, we are given glimpses, however uncertain, of what may lie beyond.

But how do we personally feel about dying? Do we think about it beyond writing a will or choosing a final resting place?

Personally, I have a hard time believing that my consciousness simply ends when my body no longer functions. I tend to think of consciousness as energy. And if energy, once created, cannot be destroyed but only transformed, then perhaps something of us continues, even if we don’t fully understand how.

There’s a strange sense of curiosity in that thought. Almost like standing on the edge of a journey, wondering what lies ahead. I imagine it the way I might anticipate walking the streets of ancient Rome, not knowing what I’ll find, but knowing there is something waiting to be discovered. Still, while the idea may carry a sense of wonder, I’m in no hurry to get there.

Do I fear dying? Yes. The truth is, death is wrapped in the unknown. And no matter how many stories we hear or beliefs we hold, the unknown carries a certain weight. It brings questions we cannot fully answer.

What am I willing to do to stay alive? How far would I go with medical interventions just to extend time? Would I choose life at all costs, even if that life meant being confined, dependent, or stripped of its quality? Would I want ten more years in a hospital bed? These are not easy questions.

What about you?

Are you afraid of dying? Would you hold on no matter what, just for one more day, one more year?

Perhaps part of that fear comes from where we think we might end up. The idea of Heaven and Hell has been ingrained in many of us for most of our lives. It raises another question: are we afraid of death itself, or of judgment?

Is that fear fueled by guilt? The sense that we’ve done wrong and might one day have to answer for it?

If that’s the case, then maybe some of that fear can be addressed while we’re still here.

We can reach out to those we’ve hurt. We can seek forgiveness, whether from others, from a higher power, or from ourselves. We can acknowledge what we’ve done, understand its impact, and grow from it.

Different cultures have approached this idea in meaningful ways. The native Hawaiians, through their Huna tradition, believe that wrongdoing occurs when we hurt another person within the community. The resolution is not punishment, but communication. The transgressor and the one offended come together, speak openly about the experience, and work toward understanding. Through that process, empathy develops. The hurt is acknowledged, forgiveness follows, and the bond within the community is strengthened.

It’s a simple yet powerful idea.

Would we fear death less if we carried less guilt?

Reaching out, listening, and learning from our actions can ease that weight. Acting with more awareness, more compassion, and more intention may not answer every question about what comes after, but it can bring peace to how we live now.

At the end of the day, perhaps the real preparation for death isn’t found in trying to understand what happens after. It’s found in how we choose to live, how we treat others, and how we come to terms with ourselves while we still have the chance.